Things need to start getting better NOW.
Okay now?
How about now?
*sigh*
Enzain just a little bit?
Bas shway?
Please?
Anything at all?
I'm begging here...
*sigh*
I knew I was asking for too much...
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Zain Kuwait
so I got this by bbm a million years ago, and I've been planning to share it with you bas killa ansa hehe
*********
Reasons why women find it hard to find the man of their dreams:
1.The nice men are ugly.
2.The handsome men are not nice.
3.The handsome and nice men are gay.
4.The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
5.The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money
6.The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
7. The handsome men without money are after our money.
8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!
11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.
NOW, WHO CAN REALLY UNDERSTAND MEN?
"Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job, to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with."
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Zain Kuwait
ble5!
Its weird that this is the URL to my blog, yet i've never actually told you about it.
ble5!
The one, truly expressive word to convey how everything has been lately.
ble5!
Now, you might have heard the word around, which is really funny because I made it up with a friend of mine one day about five years ago, but then I was surprised lately to see people using it and finding it on their bbm status updates...
so yeah...
its copyrighted...
you're welcome ;Pp
shino ya3ny ble5?
ble5 is a situation when everything that could possibly go wrong is going wrong...when you're sick of everything...when you've reached rock bottom...when you've done everything you can do only to find that you're attempts have been futile all along....when there's nothing else left to say...
except ble5!
hehe =)
I hate sixth year.
I'm so overloaded with work, its not even sad anymore. Its just pathetic. I dont have time to do ANYTHING. Between oncalls, lectures, presentations, PBL's and case reports, wallah el3atheem and I kid you not, I have to CREATE time to squeeze in my showers. I dont even have time to study. Its just work overload. Assignment wara assignment, oncall wara oncall, case wara case...its just ridiculous.
I'm drained...and honest to God I'm having second thoughts about this whole medical school shit.
Am I really prepared to spend the rest of my life like this?
Is this really worth it?
Madry...
I see the smile on my patient's faces, I hear them yad3only, and it makes me happy...it makes my day.
Bas sometimes, like less than an hour ago when I got back home from my night duty, it becomes very difficult for me to drive, to keep my eyes open and to get back home in one piece...
bas the most difficult part has to be keeping my spirits up.
I'm sick of this...
and I've been sick of it for a while now oo sakta...cz if you know me, you'll know that I stay in denial for a looooong looooong looooooooong time before admitting something or even talking about it...I'm one of those people who bottle things up until I explode.
So why am I bringing it up now?
it could be cz i'm lacking the social support I need
it could be cz i finally stopped to a9adeg 3umry
it could be cz i'm hating the specialties halsena
it could be cz its been six freaking years oo ana lail7en eb mukany, while ghairy twathaf oo tera8a oo tzawaj oo yab 3yal
it could be because its that time of month where i'm PMSing...
bas I keep telling myself that i'm nearly there...just near the finish line...just a little more to go....
and i'm no quitter...and I sure as hell wont be one after six years of taking allllll this shit...
But if there's anything I know for sure, its that what's always been keeping me going, and whats still pushing me forward right now, is that in know that one day, i'll make my mommy proud of me...oh so very proud of me =)
That in two years time bmashe2at raby, she'll walk around saying hathy benty eldctoora dana oo ras'ha marfooooooo3 oo lebtesama shaga elwayh =)
After all, thats the least I can do for her after everything she's done for me, dont you think? Oo even then, mara7 aredlaha even 1% of it. She deserves so much more.
So even though i'm overworked and underpaid, and even though i'm having all these doubts and second thoughts, i'm gonna assume i'm PMSing (cz ironically it really is that time of month) and thats where all this garbage is coming from...
or maybe cz I got a few comments over the past few weeks eli 3awraw and I realized that I missed you guys way WAAAAAAAY too much;**
sam7oony 3al g9oor...i'll post and comment whenever I can =)
but until then, I shall now go finish my lunch (thats right...lunch) then go lay my very tired body on my bed and hope I catch a few good hours of sleep before the cycle begins again tomorrow morning!
i miss spilling like this...
and i miss you guys wayed...so much more than you could imagine or than I ever thought I would ;**
ps: someone needs to ask the chinese porn site and the viagra company spamming my blog to stop advertising here ;Pp
Has it really only been a month??
wow...
It feels like forever ago that I last blogged.
I missed it. Wayed.
I missed you guys. Wayed.
Sooooo much has happened in this past month. It doesnt feel like a month anymore, it feels like a lifetime ago.
First things first I guess....
rmthan?
The only thing I can say about it is that hathy 9ij 9ij awal mara afham feha shino ya3ny rmthan. So many meanings, so many feelings....so many things I've been missing out for SO long. It really is a shame that I've lost so many rmthans that I can never get back. Maby a6awel 3laikom, bs it was a spiritual experience that I really needed and a connection that changed me in so many ways. 9ij ena I couldnt switch off my phone, and I did sneak onto my laptop every now and then, bs I really did disconnect myself from the world...i didnt even go out of my house except for BARE necessities when I absolutely had to. I felt like I need to savor every moment of that month for better things that I dont get to do for the rest of the year.
It was a beautiful experience from the first su7oor till I walked out of the mosque from the last jyam with tears rolling down my face because the next time I'll be doing this will be in 11 months.
Because I'll miss it.....so much.
I promised God ena I'll try to change so many things in my life that I wasnt happy about. I promised to try and be a better person, to be more patient, to be more dedicated.
I promised to stop making the mistakes that I'm making. I promised to make Him proud of me.
And even though I knew I was never gonna reach that phase, I knew he was gonna give me credit for trying. And, lets face it, trying was the least I could do.
The month was going great, until the very last day.
Until I ruined it all.
Until I did something I'm really not proud of, and wont even talk about.
Will He forgive me?
Madry...
I hope so...i pray for his forgiveness oo kily nadam ena kil elli sawaita eb hal shahar just disappeared into thin air because of that last slip.
Bas more than anything, I'm ashamed of Him...I'm ashamed ena ba3ad ma he taught me what rmthan was, oo ba3ad ma r7amny oo tab 3ly oo He gave me the pleasure of connecting with Him, ana aro7 oo aghalu6 chithy...
Wallah eni mo kafo...
Will He forgive me?
Madry...
I hope so, bs it made me realize shay wayed muhem...ena ela3mal blkhawatem
oo ana khatemty kilish mo shay...
Will I slip again and not do the things I promised him I'll do? Will I be too weak to follow through with my promises?
Madry
Will He forgive me?
Ed3oly ena He does...
Allahoma eni as2aloka 7usn alkhatema wl firdos al a3la
ps: sam7oony because I didnt reply to your comments on the last few posts, bs wallah I did read every single one of them and each of them made a difference in its own little way...so thank you for that ;**
pps: a very very very special thank you to all the anonymouses who commented on my previous post...wallah you have no idea how much it meant to me
ppps: standy, fourme, cashew, zon, candy, deze, a journal entry, DR, danderma, jooj and vixen ;**...and everyone else...I missed you guys....wayed ;**
pppps: I missed anony oo zawe WAAAAAAAAAYEEEEEEEEED!! oo I wish the twins a happy (and very belated) birthday ;**
ppppps: the chinese porno website thats spamming my comments (in chinese) needs to stop =@
pppppps: I think elwireless 3la my laptop ga3d yekhtereb =\ i've been trying to post this since wednesday, oo my laptop mo rathy yashbuk...akher shay I had to take it on a flash and post it from my desktop =(
ppppppps: these ps's kan momken yatrson post ebro7hom ;Pp
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